20 years- The Process is the Prize

Twenty years. It is a surreal milestone to say out loud. What began as a new chapter at WWP South has evolved into a two decade journey that has truly enriched my life. As I enter my 20th season coaching girls' lacrosse in New Jersey—my 14th at Notre Dame High School—I find myself looking back. The wins, the losses, the bus rides, the people and the practices in every kind of New Jersey spring weather possible have all added layers to a story I couldn't have imagined when I first started. Perhaps the most profound layer of all is that my daughters were born during this span of time. Watching them grow alongside my players has been the greatest perspective-shifter of my life, and seeing my oldest prepare to graduate high school this June makes this 20th season feel particularly full-circle.

In this profession, it is easy to become transactional and to let your happiness be dictated solely by the scoreboard. If the only gratification you get is from winning, then you’ve honestly lost your way. That realization speaks directly to the tension every coach feels: the choice between chasing an outcome or chasing an impact. Over twenty years, I’ve learned that if you only chase the trophy, you are simply missing the point. The shift to transformational coaching is where the real magic happens. It’s the understanding that while we play to win, we ultimately coach to help people grow.

When I look back now, the scoreboard is often a blur, but the relationships are clear. The players who trusted us, the parents who championed the program, and the colleagues who became lifelong friends are the true heartbeat of these twenty seasons. Transformational coaching is about building an environment where everyone can thrive and grow as human beings, not just athletes. It’s about mentorship and having the humility to realize that even after two decades, we all still need people in our corner to challenge us and remind us of our purpose. 

As I step onto the sidelines for year 20, my heart is full of genuine gratitude. I am as excited for the first game of this season as I was for the very first one of my career, but my "why" has sharpened. Wins will always matter, but they aren't the destination, they are a byproduct of the impact we make. The goal is growth. The process is the prize and we will continue to love tough, demanding their best because we care deeply about the person behind the athlete. We will continue to believe in #oneheart knowing that our collective strength far outweighs any individual achievement. 

Here's to the start of another season, let's have fun and let it rip!

Coach Fish